Why are we so afraid to tell people “NO”? For some reason, we have been taught that “no” is DISRESPECTFUL — and even insulting. We seem to value other people’s time more than our own — feeling that we need to bend over backward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us. I know we’re atoning for the “me” 1980’s, but let’s be reasonable! “No” is actually one of the healthiest words that can come out of your mouth. When you tell someone “no,” you are really saying that you understand and accept your own LIMITS, and don’t want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself. That you value your time and priorities and aren’t willing to take away from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life!
So how do you say “NO” without insulting the other person, feeling consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a way to say “no” without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS — they’ll think I’m lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I’m not ambitious, that I have no concern for other people. And it’s time to give up all of those roles you’re so proud of — supermom, martyr, hero — but are keeping you from finding true peace. Once you’ve accepted that you have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do it in a way that doesn’t seem like a REJECTION. Let me show you how:
Here are 20 ways to say “NO” without hurting others
“I CAN’T RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER”
“I’M REALLY NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB”
“I JUST DON’T HAVE ANY ROOM IN MY CALENDAR RIGHT NOW”
“I CAN’T, BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THE NAME OF SOMEONE WHO CAN”
“I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT”
“I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS AND CAN’T SPARE THE TIME”
“I’VE HAD A FEW THINGS COME UP AND I NEED TO DEAL WITH THOSE FIRST”
“I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN END UP DOING A MEDIOCRE JOB”
“I’M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE RIGHT NOW”
“I’M REALLY FOCUSING MORE ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW”
“I REALLY DON’T ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK”
“I CAN’T, BUT I’M HAPPY TO HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK”
“I’VE LEARNED IN THE PAST THAT THIS REALLY ISN’T MY STRONG SUIT”
“I’M SURE YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB ON YOUR OWN”
“I DON’T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH THAT, SO I CAN’T HELP YOU”
“I’M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT”
“I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG TOO MANY PROJECTS”
“I’M COMMITTED TO LEAVING SOME TIME FOR MYSELF IN MY SCHEDULE”
“I’M NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW PROJECTS RIGHT NOW”
or a simple, straight, direct “NO”
Contact for In-House Training on Assertiveness Skills.
With Kind Regards
Shabbar Suterwala
Corporate Trainer & Psychological Counsellor
Ph: +91 989 222 5864
ShabbarSuterwala @ Hotmail.Com
Posted in Interesting by .
Aug 05
12
10 Tips for Teachers
Before you set foot in the classroom, make sure you have a plan for the course and class. Share your plans with your class – distribute a syllabus on the first day and post the objectives for the day on the board at the beginning of each and every class.
Plan a variety of approaches and activities for each session. In a single class, you could have a teacher lecture, a small group discussion, and a written reflection assignment. Varying teaching strategies appeals to learning style differences and keeps participants attentive and engaged. Aim to get participants out of their chairs and interacting at least once per class.
Have students work in pairs or small groups whenever possible: to check homework questions, to prepare presentations, etc. Not only does interaction acknowledge and draw upon the tremendous experience and knowledge adults bring to the classroom, but students gain confidence as they check and confirm answers with their peers. Having a network of friends can enhance a student’s academic success.
Addressing students by name helps build rapport. While taking attendance, record students’ names (and possibly identifying qualities) on a seating plan. Don’t call upon students in a predictable pattern, and mark the plan each time you ask a student a question. This way, you’ll routinely call upon everyone more or less equally. At some institutions, you can request a class list which includes photos from student cards. Otherwise, take Polaroids or digital images and cram before the next class.
Bring your own whiteboard markers and/or chalk and an eraser to every class. Record lesson objectives in a margin of the board at the beginning of class. Be sure to note key points, homework, etc. on the board. Monitor the size, pressure and legibility of your writing. Use a variety of colors for emphasis and clarity. Baby wipes are great for cleaning your hands at the end of class (They work well for cleaning overhead transparencies, too)!
Audio-visual aids such as overhead projectors and transparencies, flip charts, audio and video players, etc. can be tremendous assets when used effectively, but great liabilities when not. Check equipment before class to ensure that it is working, that you know how to use it, and that tapes and counters are cued. Position the equipment and yourself so that everyone can see and/or hear clearly.
Try telling students that you will be giving a handout after presenting the material, but that you’d like them to listen and think for now. Don’t just read handout material passively to students, present the main points and elicit support and examples from the class. Whenever possible, double-side handouts to conserve paper. Punch holes to help students file them neatly in their binders.
Asking students the question, “do you understand?” is an ineffective means of checking comprehension. Depending upon the focus of the lesson, check comprehension by 1) asking students to make a choice such as, “Is this statement true or untrue?” or “Is the best answer A or B?” 2) giving a demonstration of a practical task; or 3) brainstorming further examples to illustrate a point.
Keep feedback focused and positive. For example, if you are giving a lesson on verb tenses, and a student provides an answer with correct verbs but incorrect articles, congratulate the student on their accurate use of the verbs. Try engaging the entire class by asking whether they agree or disagree with an answer. If some students disagree with an incorrect answer, elicit the correct response.
Give students regular opportunities to provide anonymous feedback on your teaching and the course. New teachers are encouraged to invite feedback from experienced mentor teachers as well. Acknowledge and respond to feedback with grace. Clarify content or make adjustments to your teaching style as necessary.
Aug 05
6
You better change yourself.
Then one of his wise servant dared himself to tell the king, “Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money ? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?”
The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a “shoe” for himself.
There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story : to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself – your heart; and not the world.
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Not all posts on this blog are my own words. Nor are all articles written by me. The blog is intended serve as my journal and dairy of interesting reading I have enjoyed and want to share. Some write-ups do not have the name of its author, the reason behind it is that I do not know the original source nor the author. If someone knows it they can add it to the comment box.
