This is indeed a brilliant article and needs to be read again and again…!
Here is a list of 15 things, which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and you’ll feel much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering and instead of letting them all go and allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy, we cling on to them.
Well, not anymore. Starting today, we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go!
1. Give up your need to always be right.
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong wanting to always be right even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: ‘Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?’ What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control.
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, co-workers, or just strangers you meet on the street just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
‘By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.‘ Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame.
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
‘The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.‘ Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible.
From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
‘A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.’ Elly Roselle
Minimize Your Fear
The Wooden Bowl
The Tao of Forgiveness
A HERO who deserves all respect
6. Give up complaining.
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things people, situations and events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others.
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change.
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change don’t resist it.
‘Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.‘ Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels.
Stop labeling the things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.’
11. Give up on your fears.
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
‘The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.‘ Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses.
A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck and lie to ourselves, using all kind of excuses excuses that 99.9% of the time, are not even real.
13. Give up the past.
I know, I know. This one’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening. But, you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for the past that you are now dreaming about was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment.
This is a concept that, for most of us, is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too (it still is), but it’s not impossible. You get better and better at it with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless; where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot co-exist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them; they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them; to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need and eventually, they forget about themselves. You have one life this one right now you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
‘Rizq’ is a very distinct and broader term than to be translated to material wealth or income. ‘Rizq’ is consisted of all forms of Allah’s bounties, which are essential for the prosperity of man in this world and the hereafter. Money or wealth is only one form among many forms of ‘Rizq’. Among other forms of ‘Rizq’ are: Iman, Ilm, Akhlaq, noble offspring, etc. Syedna Mohammad Burhanuddin says in one of his Dua Mubarak that:
“May Allah widen our “Arzaq”, May He bless us with the ‘Rizq’ of Knowledge, wealth and good character”.
Money and wealth can be advantageous and man’s life can be prosperous only when this form of ‘Rizq’ is combined with its other forms. The modern economic system emphasizes only on the generation of wealth (Income) and the production of goods and services to increase the prosperity of man.
The most important principle of “Al-Iqtesaad al-Islami” (Islamic Economics) is to believe in Allah as the “Razzaq” (Sole provider of livelihood and all bounties). Allah says (51:58):
“Allah is is he who is the provider of all “Rizq”, the lord of all power.”
Allah is the Razzaq as He is the creator of all natural resources upon which human existence depends and He is the distributor of Rizq among human beings.
There is no limit in the treasures of Allah from which He distributes Rizq among His Ibaad, but in due measures. Allah Says:
“There is not a thing but with Us are its treasures, but We send it down only in due measures.” (15: 21)
The Ayat clearly reveals that the means or resources created and endowed by Allah are without any limit, they are not scarce, but they are distributes among human beings of different periods and places in due measure. Due measure means that Allah grants whom He wishes without any limits and gives in due measure to whom he desires as He says (2: 212):
“And Allah provides ‘Rizq’ to whom he wishes without any account.”
Modern economic system works under the assumptions put forward by Robbins in 1931, that the wants of man are unlimited, and the means to fulfill his wants are limited. These assumptions are against the declaration made by Allah in the Holy Quran:
“And if you would count the bounty of Allah, you cannot reckon it.”
In fact, the wants of man, in spite of all its varieties and extensiveness are limited when compared to the bounties and resources endowed by Allah. Imam Ali Zainul Abedeen (AS) says in one of his Dua Mubarak:
“And I have known that all that I ask of you is very little for all that is in your presence and the most precious to me is unworthy amidst your vast treasures, and your grace never falls short for those who seek your bounties, verily your hands of grace are above that of all others.”
The holy Quran reminds of an important fact that:
“Allah has the power over all things.”
Allah shows his Ibad a way to discover better means and approach of work, when and as need arises, by which they can increase the means of subsistence. At present the global aggregate supply of many agricultural and manufactured goods is greater than global aggregate demand. Producers are competing for selling their goods. Even if there is scarcity of goods in some part of the world then it is the result of the unjust economic system and because of the inhuman and irrational practices in the field of trade like, monopoly in production and distribution of goods, dumping surplus production in oceans to maintain price etc.
Even at the Micro level we find many people, whose income and resources are so great that they can fulfill their wants with a portion of their income. Likewise, there are also those who cannot even meet the necessities of life with all their incomes. So the correct view here is that, there is no scarcity of resources but Allah distributes them in due measure.
Allah, the most beneficent, increases the share of man in these resources if he seeks them and works to obtain them, as Allah has made these resources subservient to man. The Holy Quran says (14: 33-34):
“It is Allah who has created the heavens and the earth and sent down rains from the skies, and with it Allah has grown fruits as ‘Rizq’ for you, He has made the sun and the moon, constant in their courses, to be of service unto you, and has made of service unto you the night and the day. And He has given you of all that you ask of Him, and if you would count the bounty of Allah, you cannot reckon it.”
Allah has destined the ‘Rizq’ of everyone and obliged him or her to seek it and to strive for getting it. Allah says revealing his Hikmat in this regard (42:27):
“If Allah were to spread the ‘Rizq’ of his Ibad, they would surely transgress on earth, but he sends it down in measure as he pleases.”
There are various narrations from Rasulallah (SA) and Awliya Kiram (AS) in which mumineen are commanded to work hard to earn a living. Imam Ja’farus Sadiq (AS) says: “It is necessary for a Muslim to work hard to earn his livelihood, even if he has to feel the scorching heat of the sun.”
However, the most important principle of “Al Iqtisad al-Islami” in terms of seeking ‘Rizq’ is to have complete faith in Allah, and to believe that He is the sole Provider of ‘Rizq’, the Sustainer of man and all that is in existence. The whole concept is explained in a single Hadith of Rasulallah (SA), “Spread out your goods and services, and seek ‘Rizq’ from your Lord”.
Islam has obliged every person to work for his ‘Rizq’ but does not allow him to have faith in his own capabilities or the potentials of the market. Instead, one must have faith and trust on Allah and seek ‘Rizq’ from him. That is why our Awliya Kiram (AS) have taught us various ‘Dua’ that help us build our faith in Allah, while we strive and work to earn a living.
It is a virtue of Allah that he helps those who have faith in Him and their trust lies in his grace. Allah says (64:3):
“And he who trusts Allah, sufficient is Allah for him; Verily Allah will accomplish his purpose”
Fatemi Dai, Syedna Mohammad Burhanuddin (TUS) says that: “Rizq is sought by all Ibad of Allah but a Mumin has trust upon Allah and faith in His presence. He has faith in the interception of Awliya-ulallah, and is blessed with the Ne’mat of Eman, which is the greatest of all forms of ‘Rizq’ and as a result his prospects of other ‘Rizq’ are widened, and the doors of prosperity are opened.”
If man seeks ‘Rizq’ believing in Allah and having his ‘Tawakkul’ on him and ‘Tavassul’ of His Awliya, then surely the mumins worldly act of earning will be an act of Allah’s Ibadat. This important principle of Al Iqtisad al-Islami is revealed through the Hadith of Rasulallah (SA). Rasulallah (SA) while returning from the ‘Battle of Tabuk’ saw a young and strong man striving to make a living, when he (SA) said: “The reward of this young man is all that of a soldier who risks his life in the way of Allah and the one who performs Hajj and Umrah.”
Amirul Muminen Moulana Ali (AS) says: A person striving to earn a living by means of ‘Halal’ is like a Mujahid who risks his life in the way of Allah”.
When a Mumin seeks his ‘Rizq’ having ‘Tawakkul’ on Allah and believing his economic activity a form of Allah’s Ibadat, he must obey Allah and His Awliya in all his economic activities and must not deceive His Ibad.
The Idea of maximization of profits as an aim of producers, as given by the modern economic system, stimulates man to generate profit and maximize it by all means possible. This in turn harms our social and moral values and responsibilities. While the principles of Al Iqtisad al-Islami prevent individuals from cutthroat competitions in which every person sees his survival in the destruction of others. Such competition is harmful not only at the micro level but at macro level as well. It affects adversely on aggregate output and income. Principles of ‘Tawakkul’ and ‘Ibadat’ teach every individual strive to seek his welfare without harming others. It results in the feature of cooperation and brotherhood, which in turn leads individuals to render sacrifice of their own interests for the well being of their brothers.
It is a noted fact of history and a lesson to learn from the ‘seerat’ of Amirul Mumineen (AS) that he had once given his borrowed dinar to Miqdad (RA) in spite of hunger days. He ignored the hunger of his own family compassioning upon the hunger of Miqdad and his family, just because they were striving for an additional day than Amirul Mumineen and his Ahle Bait (AS).
The Ansar of Medina (who welcomed Rasulallah to their home land and sacrificed everything to help and serve him) gave half of their belongings and properties to their Mohajir (who had migrated from Mecca with Rasulallah leaving all their belongings behind) brethren.
Principles of ‘Tawakkul’ and ‘Ibadat’ refrain people from establishing their monopoly to exploit the consumers and the market. In fact Islam is against the monopolization of any particular goods in a given market and has commanded the Islamic government to act against such exploitations by banning merchants from hoarding supplies and similar activities. In olden times when merchants would bring their trade in caravans to a town a trader was not allowed to go forth to receive the caravan, where ordinary people could not go and buy off all goods for himself, so as to exploit the market with his holding capacity.
The principle of ‘Tawakkul’ is clearly stated in a Hadith in which Rasulallah says: “I am informed by Jibra’eel that a person will not die until his ‘Rizq’ is fulfilled, so fear Allah and be patient in earning it.”
Allah has not only destined the amount of ‘Rizq’ but also the right time for it. Therefore, man should not be hasty and lose his patience by seeking from ‘Haram’ (forbidden) means. Our Awliya Kiram have taught mumineen to do Dua at times of adversities that bring us faith in Allah and provide us the strength of patience. Dua is a form of ‘Tawakkul’ on Allah and is indeed a part of Al Iqtisad al-Islami. Aqa Moala (TUS) has stated this fact clearly in this year’s Munajaat Sharifah, where Moula (TUS) says:
“Inspite of constrains in life one sees the fullness of Allah’s Blessings and bounties upon him, if one has a thankful heart.”
If Allah has destined our ‘Rizq’ then why strive for it, one would say. Why does Islam ask us to seek ‘Rizq’? Is it not the breach of ‘Tawakkul’? The answer is very simple that Islam has obliged every individual to seek his ‘Rizq’ by ‘Halal’ means, and the true test of ones ‘Tawakkul’ is when he has to choose between the difficulties of time by clinging on to the ‘Halal’ way or by simplifying life for the time being by opting for the forbidden way.
Rasulallah (SA) has said that: “There is no one in Allah’s creation but has ‘Rizq’ which is kept under a curtain, if he is patient the curtain is lifted of by Allah at the right time and he gets his ‘Rizq’ by Halal’; but if he does not wait and he would get it as ‘Haram’. So beware from the forbidden, for Allah’s treasures are not begotten but by his obedience.”
Another advantage of working for a living is that it keeps a person away from the evil of idleness, saves him from poverty and most off all it is a form of Ibadat in itself which begets him the reward of Jihad, Hajj and Umrah.
Seeking worldly gains is a very divine and religious matter in the eyes of Islam and to this fact Rasulallah has pointed out saying, “The market place of Muslims is just like their Masajid”, where treachery and deception is not allowed. Islam has guarded the rights of labor and the benefits of the employers both. It cares about the concerns of consumers and sellers both. Islam has obliged the government to allow free trade and avoid intervention in the market place but also monitor the economic trends so that a single class or group of people does not accumulate and hoard wealth and resources.
Imam Ahmad ul-Mastur (AS) has given a clear description of the whole economic system and Allah’s Hikmat in various means and principles that govern this system and the balance between Allah’s ‘Destined Rizq’ and the necessity for man to seek it; including the social makeup required for it. The Imam (AS) says:
Know, O my brother, that a person cannot survive alone in this world, his life would be full of difficulties, as his needs several commodities and necessities to live in comfort. These needs require skills, knowledge and craft, which a he can by no means achieve during his lifetime. For knowledge has no limits while his lifespan is indeed very short. That is why people get together and form a society in which every person is a helping hand for the other. Allah’s Hikmat has shaped this shaped this environment in such a way that each person is equipped with a particular skill and therefore some of them indulge in trade and business, while others take care of the government and legal affairs. Further more, there are those who are builders and constructors, while others are service providers and social workers. Some of them deal with education and research and so on. All living together like a huge family from a common ancestor, brothers and sisters, each playing his/her role in a single household. However, the use of weights, measurements, wages and other monetary means is defined in the Hikmat of Allah. It is meant to encourage everyone to work hard in his or her own particular fields, so that each person gets his just share of wage accordingly.
This is the vision of Imam Ahmed al-Mastur (AS) of a society governed by the laws and principles of faith and belief in Allah. To this Syedna Taher Saifuddin (RA) has pointed out saying that: “If the affairs of this world were to be governed by the principles of ‘Deen’ it would be as beautiful as ‘Mercury’ and people would live in peace and harmony”.
Imam (AS) states further more that: “And Know, O my brother, and have faith that you cannot attain salvation and freedom from this world, which is the result of our sins, alone! You will need the support and help of your loving and caring brothers, who possess the knowledge of the hereafter, to free your self and rise above to the heavens and abode of Angels from this non-consistent world and the neighborhood of satan. For your brothers will show you the right path to freedom and salvation.
(Refernce: Ikhwan-us-Safa 1, Risalat al gometriya – al qism ar-Riyadhi. Note: This is not an exact translation, but a brief expression of the “Fasl fi hajat al-Insan ila Ta’avun’)
Indeed, these men of knowledge are no other than the Duat of Ale Mohammed (AS) who has ever tried to guide their community to the right path of virtue and peace in this world and to the abode of heavens in the hereafter. These are the Holy Men who have ever taught their community of mumineen to view this world as a single household and its people as their family, and guided them to the maintain peace and harmony amongst them. Our beloved Moula Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin the successor of this glorious history and tradition often relates a Hadith of Rasulallah (SA), “Mankind is a single family dependent upon Allah and the most beloved to Him is the most beneficial to it,” and so he strives for the cause. May Allah Subhanahu bless him with a long life for the benefit of this community and mankind.
Each one of us is a walking radiator.
Mostly we radiate thoughts and attitudes.
From deep within we radiate our state of being,
and the essential, original and eternal state of every being
is peaceful and loving.
But we block and distort this energy with our attachments.
Attachments turn love into fear, peace into anger and then
distort our attitudes and actions towards others.
This is neither relaxing for ourselves, or for those around us.
Which is why detachment is the secret to living lightly and lovingly.
To be a radiator that people come to for real warmth,
what do you need to detach from today?
If you don’t detach then you will stay attached,
and then you will see others and life itself as a threat,
and your tension will keep them away.
But they cannot threaten you.
Only your dependency on a thing, or an idea,
or an opinion can be threatened.
With tons of information all around it is really hard to keep pace with what to consume and what not. There is barely enough time for an individual to grasp everything if anything at all. The average person connected with technology today would be reading and writing or let us say typing thousands of words in a typical day. With mobile devices around and the speed at which chat messengers deliver information that is available literally at the finger tips of a person it is very important to be able to bifurcate the really useful information and prioritize what to consume, comprehend and act upon while what to skim through and turn the page with the speed at which the information was received.
It is really worth noting that the information age as we call it is far more resource hungry than the past atomic age or the space age or whatever. The most precious of all resources that are exhausted by this overwhelming power hungry age is “Time”. No matter the speed at which data and information is processed today it should be noted that most of it is just a waste of the most precious resource and that is time. The generation of today is simply relying on google for its information, that is how much impact the overload of information has on us.
Most people are so much engrossed and sunk in the flow of information that they cannot detach themselves from it. At times simple gossip and bits of humor and entertainment become serious time consumers and keep us from progress and success. Face Book for example can be a medium of communication that would bring far off friends and relatives closer but adversely the nearer and dearer ones pay the price for becoming detached as a result. With millions of tweets from all sorts of people around the world it is simply not possible for an average human to follow each and everyone of them and/or even respond to a few.
Those who manage to manipulate the bits and bytes of information flowing in cyberspace and the virtual world giving it a proper share of their valuable time triumph. Ignoring the greatest and mightiest of all weapons, tools and energy that is delivered at light speed through the medium of media is simply not going to work and is utterly foolish. Flowing with the wave is what is the most important of all strategies rather than swimming against the current.