{"id":381,"date":"2010-12-28T12:49:17","date_gmt":"2010-12-28T08:49:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hikmah.ekhwan.com\/?p=381"},"modified":"2010-12-28T12:49:17","modified_gmt":"2010-12-28T08:49:17","slug":"the-fragrance-always-remains-on-the-hand-that-gives-the-rose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hikmah.ekhwan.com\/index.php\/2010\/12\/28\/the-fragrance-always-remains-on-the-hand-that-gives-the-rose\/","title":{"rendered":"The fragrance always remains on the hand that gives the rose"},"content":{"rendered":"
A person who is going through bereavement may simply be shattered by the array of disturbing feelings of intense sadness; denial, withdrawal, and guilt. These intense feelings play havoc inside them. Helping those who have just gone through the loss of someone close to them will call for your patience and sensitivity. One suggestion is to learn about grief and grieving. The more you know about it, the more you will be able to help them help themselves. Allowing others the freedom to discover their own grief path is a gift one can give – to oneself and to others. Remember: it takes a lot of energy – emotional, spiritual, mental and physical – to grieve. Keep that in mind when you visit or call.<\/div>\n

Here are some suggestions to help someone who has lost a loved one:<\/p>\n

“<\/span>Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.“<\/span><\/p>\n

Make a personal commitment to help the one grieving get through this journey.<\/span><\/strong> After a death, many friendships change or disintegrate. People don’t know how to relate to the one who is grieving, or they get tired of being around someone who is sad. There is always a huge wave of support at the time of loss and for several days after but they will still be at this process six months from now and a year from now. <\/strong><\/span>Vow to see your friend or loved one through this, to be their anchor in their darkest hour. . It may be a good idea to get together with their other close friends and share some of the responsibility. So use your imagination. Anything you can do to help your friend will let them put more energy into healing, which is what they really need to do. You will need simply to be there with them as they experience what is probably the fiercest sadness and pain of their entire lives. <\/span>Don’t search for profound words or try to think of saying something meaningful. Your presence and doing the simplest tasks is the most helpful gesture of compassion. <\/span>They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel <\/span><\/em><\/strong>. <\/span>Be comfortable with tears \u2013 yours and other’s – they can be a bond, an encouragement. <\/span>If you don’t know what to say, simply say ‘I’m sorry.’ The words are not important, but they convey a sense that you know and care. <\/span><\/p>\n

Your willingness to listen can be a profound expression of friendship.If you are concerned with what not to say, consider relevant circumstances and avoid giving advice on either how the family should grieve or on why such tragedies occur. The family will want to know what you FEEL, NOT what you THINK. Please be sensitive to the experience of the person who has lost a loved one. They might be tender in age and may not have the experience in dealing with life’s setbacks. Please support them through this period without being judgmental. <\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, <\/span>can be given to one only by other human beings….<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n